Houston man shares lessons learned from wife’s Alzheimer’s battle

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Jacquelyn Evans died in August 2023 at the age of 74.

Courtesy of Bill Evans

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Bill Evans with his wife, Jacquelyn

Courtesy of Bill Evans

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Bill Evans learned valuable lessons as his wife, Jacquelyn, battled Alzheimer’s disease.

The Houston man wants to share what he’s learned while caring for his wife of 46 years in her final days before her passing on Aug. 7 at age 74.

“We have to make people more aware of what the disease is all about,” he said. “You hear the term, but unless you’re living with it, you don’t really think about it. We’ve got to do a better job of taking care of the caregivers and make people more aware of what’s available to them.”

Evans first noticed his wife’s memory issues in 2019 while driving familiar routes.

“When you make a trip repeatedly, you always make the same turns,” he said. “You very seldom deviate from it. Every time we would go to our son’s or her brother’s, I would be making a turn and she would ask why I was turning there. That literally scared me, because she still wanted to drive. My first inclination was that’s probably not a good idea.”

Evans took over all of the driving.

A doctor’s appointment raised more concerns.

“She went for a wellness check and did really bad on the (memory) test,” Evans said. “That was the beginning of the major changes in your life when you start to face this disease.”

His wife reverted back to childhood, asking for her mother and about a niece she babysat while she was in high school.

Evans said he made some mistakes, like not taking his wife for an MRI, because he did not want to be afraid. He also felt he was the best person to care for her.

“I was the caregiver 24 hours a day, seven days a week,” he said. “I cooked. I cleaned her. I didn’t let anybody near Jackie. I felt nobody could take care of Jackie better than me. That is the biggest mistake caregivers make, because all you are doing is destroying yourself. I never left the house.”

He said he would lie on the floor through the night to keep his wife from going to the garage to open and close the garage door with the opener. He drove around the neighborhood when his wife asked to see her mother. He said she was fearful when left her side.

Evans recalled his wife’s memory fading away. She couldn’t talk and did not remember her husband, sons or grandchildren.

“I think the thing I’ll remember to the day I die is that when I would put her to bed at night she would look around like she had no idea where she was,” Evans said. “When it happens over and over again, and this is the person you’ve spent more than half of your life with and she doesn’t know who you are, it wears on you,” he said.

Evans’ experience is not unusual. Caregivers face significant emotional, physical and health-related challenges as a result of caregiving.

According to the recently released Alzehiemer’s Association 2024 Facts and Figures report, 76.6% of Pennsylvania caregivers reported at least one chronic condition, such as stroke, heart disease, diabetes and cancer, compared to caregivers of people without dementia or non-caregivers. And 32.5% of caregivers reported depression.

According to the report, there are 465,000 caregivers in Pennsylvania, resulting in 822 million total hours of unpaid care.

The report also states that 6.9 million people age 65 or older in the U.S. are living with Alzehiemer’s, including 282,100 in Pennsylvania.

“The new Facts and Figures report shed light on the continued challenges that many Pennsylvania families are going through as a result of Alzheimer’s and other dementias,” said Clay Jacobs, executive director of the Alzheimer’s Association Greater Pennsylvania Chapter. “As the number of individuals living with Alzeheimer continues to grow, ensuring those living with the disease, their families, their caregivers and families have a clear understanding of how to navigate dementia care resources is critical to improving health outcomes.”

Evans wants to be a spokesman and talk with groups about what he’s learned.

“If you start to see the signs, do something about it,” Evans said. “Don’t wait until it’s too far gone. With Alzheimer’s and dementia, you basically lose your loved one twice. The first time being when they no longer know who you are, the second time being their physical passing.”