Family describes ‘nightmare’ of losing their loved one to COVID
“It was a nightmare.”
That is how Missy Nicolella described her family’s experience with COVID-19, which claimed the life of her father-in-law, Joseph Nicolella, on Aug. 6, 2020, and left her and several family members sick.
One of the cruelest aspects of COVID-19 is that people die in intensive care units, unable to see, hold the hand of, and, in some cases, talk to the people they love during their final days.
In 2020, 170 people in Washington County lost their lives to COVID-19, according to the Washington County Coroner’s Office; in Greene County, 15 died, the state Department of Health reported.
The Nicolella family’s ordeal began on July 24, when Missy’s daughter took a COVID-19 test required for a new job and was shocked when it came back positive.
She immediately began isolating.
The next day, Joseph – who has lived with Missy, her husband, Mike (Joseph’s son), and their daughter for the past 10 years – began to feel sick. He complained of a scratchy throat and became disoriented.
Missy called Joseph’s primary care physician, who advised her to take him to Washington Health System Washington Hospital’s emergency room, where he tested positive for COVID.
“I didn’t know that was that last time I’d ever see him,” she said.
It was Friday, July 25.
The following Monday, Missy and Mike also tested positive and began to experience symptoms.
“The fatigue and the restlessness were terrible. You’d start feeling better and try to do something, and boom, you were down again,” said Missy.
For two weeks, she said, the couple didn’t leave the couch. Both experienced difficulty breathing and severe headaches. Missy lost her senses of taste and smell, which, months later, haven’t returned.
Meanwhile, Joseph’s condition deteriorated. He began to run a high fever, and was restrained because he kept trying to get out of bed.
The hardest part, Missy said, was not being able to visit or talk with Joseph during his nearly two-week hospitalization.
“We only talked to him once. He didn’t have his hearing aids in and he couldn’t hear very well, and it was one thing after another, so for the two weeks he was there, we didn’t really get to talk to him. That was the hardest part,” said Missy. “He was so proud of his grandkids, and they love him, and it’s heartbreaking that none of them got to see him.”
Joseph’s daughter, Joni Spear, drove from Virginia and received permission to spend the last hours of his life with him.
Spear later ended up contracting COVID-19, along with her fiance and her son.
COVID-19 restrictions have prevented families from holding traditional funeral services; instead, the family held a private graveside service.
“That was one of the hardest parts for our family. We’re a very big family,” said Missy. “With Italians, funerals usually last three days. We take our time saying good-bye. We didn’t get to do that.”