Aug 7, 2013 3 min read

Q. I am a 20-year-old college student and live at home during the summer with my mom and stepdad.

The problem is, my stepdad makes me uncomfortable. He is a porn addict. He leaves girlie magazines all over the house and downloads porn on our home computer. As if that isn’t awkward enough, he is always looking at my body. He also checks out my sisters. It is so unnerving that I refuse to wear shorts around him. Worst of all, I can’t wear a swimsuit, knowing he will be gawking at me.

I can’t go a day without worrying that he is ogling me. What can I do? – Not So Home Sweet Home

A. What a charming father figure you have. Is your mother aware that her husband checks you out and makes you uncomfortable? She should know. In the meantime, spend as little time around him as possible. Don’t sunbathe in the backyard. Go to a friend’s house or to the local pool or beach. If you catch him staring at your body, confront him directly and tell him to stop. Also, talk to your sisters about his behavior and make sure they are OK. Don’t be afraid to speak up on their behalf.

Q. My grandma is 84 years old and still able to live independently. I spent time in her home a few years ago and discovered that she no longer showers because she is afraid of slipping. It also is too hard for her to step over the lip of the bathtub. She even bought a shower stool, but for whatever reason, she doesn’t use it. Instead, she cleans herself with a rag and soap.

Grandma has a distinct body odor that is getting progressively worse, and it’s hard to be close to her. I think she’d want to know this, but I don’t want to hurt her feelings. Is there any way to politely tell her? – Trying To Get Granny To Shower

A. There are kind ways to tell her. Grandma likely doesn’t notice her body odor. You need to let her know, nicely, that she needs to be more thorough.

You can offer to help her shower; you can contact the Visiting Nurse Association (thevnacares.org) or hire a nurse’s aide to come regularly; you can discuss the possibility of remodeling her bathroom to make it more accessible; you can look into a transfer bench that lifts her into the tub area; you can bring her to your place if it has a shower stall or even to your local health club. Also, please check to be sure her laundry is getting done. (Offer to do it for her.)

Finally, your family might want to discuss with Grandma the possibility of moving into a senior facility that is set up to alleviate such limitations.

To all of our Muslim readers: Happy Eid.

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