Nov 1, 2014 3 min read

Q. I am the middle sister of three. My mother has always favored my younger sister, “Louise,” despite periods of seriously bad behavior. Mom has bailed Louise out of numerous poor financial decisions. She also takes her and her son on cruises and buys them expensive presents.

I recently found out that Mom is giving Louise a regular monthly allowance. This is creating some resentment. I feel I’m being punished for working hard and making better choices. Mom says she’ll make it up to me when she passes, but I doubt there will be much left at the rate Louise is bilking her.

I make an effort to include my mother in everything with my family, but Louise only spends time with Mom when she’s being treated to a shopping spree. My older sister is in desperate need of assistance, and I want to ask my mother to match what she gives to Louise. Am I being fair or greedy? I am hurt and confused about what to do. – Distressed Daughter

A. This has nothing to do with fairness. Your mother is playing favorites, and your resentment is perfectly understandable. Nonetheless, it’s Mom’s money. She is not obligated to give any of her adult children an allowance, and if she wants to give everything to Louise, that is her choice. If it alienates her from her older daughters, that is the sad consequence.

Dear Annie: I’d like to warn your readers about a common, potentially deadly, but highly treatable disease: hereditary hemochromatosis (HHC). Most people have heard of iron deficiency anemia, but few have heard of the opposite condition, which also is known as iron overload disease or iron storage disease. It causes people to absorb too much iron from a normal diet.

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention, more than one million people in the United States have the gene mutation that can cause hemochromatosis. It is most common among people whose ancestors are of Irish, Scottish, British or Scandinavian ancestry.

This disease is often overlooked or misdiagnosed by doctors because the symptoms can be vague. They include chronic fatigue, weakness, fibromyalgia, arthritis and joint pain, hypothyroidism, diabetes and high blood sugar, impotence, infertility, bronze or gray darkening of the skin without exposure to the sun.

I lost my dear mother to hemochromatosis in 1999. Through genetic testing, I found out that I am a “silent carrier.” Testing is not done routinely. The blood tests are: serum iron, TIBC (total iron binding capacity), percent of saturation, serum ferritin and an HFE gene mutation DNA test. The good news is that there is a simple, effective and relatively inexpensive treatment: bloodletting or blood donation.

Readers who want more information can contact the American Hemochromatosis Society (americanhs.org) at 888-655-IRON. – Sandra Thomas, president/founder, American Hemochromatosis Society