Nov 16, 2014 4 min read

Q. I am the stepmother of a lovely young woman, age 29. “Daria” was 2 when her mother left, and her older brother has reported Mom was neglectful and suffered fits of rage. She actually told the children on many occasions that she couldn’t stand them. She continually took them elsewhere to be cared for. Luckily one of those places was our house.

My husband eventually taught the children to simply accept their mother as she is and to rise above it. But the result seems to be that Daria shows very little emotion. She is attractive and smart and makes friends easily, but all of her relationships dry up after a short while. She is cold and distant. I have never seen her cry, even when her pets died.

How can we get her to open up? – Other Mother

A. Daria may have learned to close off her emotions because her mother’s behavior was so erratic and neglectful. In order to protect herself, she learned not to care, because then, when she was rejected, it wouldn’t hurt as much. She may even be precipitating and causing rejection because she has become adept at dealing with it. Unfortunately, after all these years, the behavior is difficult to change without professional intervention. Please suggest to Daria that she speak to a therapist who can help her connect with others in a more meaningful way. We hope she will.

Q. When did it become acceptable to bring board games with you when you are invited to someone’s home for dinner?

I am a senior citizen. I think fondly of people when I plan, budget, shop and prepare the nice homemade meal that I invite them to enjoy with me. I have cleaned my house just a little more closely and managed to pretty myself up as well as reasonably can be expected. I want to relax and enjoy good conversation, along with their smiling faces.

I don’t understand why they expect me to be able to keep up and catch on to the rules of their favorite board games. After all my preparations, I’m just too pooped. I only want to share their company and some interesting conversation. – Tired in the Tropics

A. You’ll forgive us for finding this problem rather charming. So many readers complain about dinner guests who whip out their cellphones and never look up at all, let alone engage in a group activity. If friends bring over board games, it’s simple enough to say, “Let’s put the games away. I’d much rather have a conversation.” Then follow up with a question they might like to answer. But it’s also quite easy to converse while playing a board game, so you might want to keep a supply of games on hand that you already know and don’t mind playing.

Dear Annie: I’d like to respond to “Trying To Be Respectful,” whose mother-in-law insists that she take communion. As a recent convert to Catholicism, I have noticed that many cradle Catholics do not possess a clear understanding of their faith.

Only those who have been baptized and confirmed in the Catholic Church are eligible to take communion at a Catholic Mass. The daughter-in-law can either stay seated during communion, or get in the communion line but cross her arms over her chest, which signifies to the priest or communion minister that she is merely seeking a blessing, which she will be given without partaking in communion. This way she respects her own beliefs and doesn’t offend anyone else. – California