Sep 11, 2014 4 min read

Q. I am a 21-year-old college student. I have found someone I am really close to and would love to have a relationship with. The problem is, she is already in a relationship with someone else.

We worked together for two years and became best friends. Unfortunately, she left the job to focus on school. We still talk, and I always ask myself whether I should tell her how I truly feel and risk tarnishing the friendship. Should I just be happy the way things are? – Trouble in the Ville

A. It is bad form to go after someone who is already attached. So our recommendation is to leave things alone and enjoy the friendship. However, should she break up with her boyfriend, that would be an OK time to express your feelings. You already understand that she may not feel the same way and the friendship could suffer as a result, but if you are both unattached, you may as well give it a try. You never know.

Q. I am a senior citizen, and I have a problem with being touched. Why do people think they can greet me with a hug?

Smokers ask whether you mind if they smoke, so why can’t huggers ask before hugging? I don’t mean to sound rude, but what can I do about this? – Touchy Senior Citizen

A. A great many people do not like to be hugged, especially by vague acquaintances. When you see someone approaching with arms out, it’s perfectly OK to take a step back, put your hand out and say politely, “Sorry. I’m not a hugger. But it’s nice to see you.” As people get to know you, they will respect your preference automatically. Please be patient.

Dear Annie: I am writing in regard to the letter from “California Grandma.” Grandma was displeased with the conduct of her 13-year-old granddaughter, who just graduated middle school and didn’t invite her to the graduation. Grandma wanted to know whether she could revoke an offer she made to pay the girl $5,000 if she graduated high school with all B’s or better.

Your response, which began with, “It’s your money. You can do whatever you like with it,” may be legally incorrect. Grandma made an offer, and if the granddaughter accepted the offer, a valid contract was created at that moment, and Grandma can no longer revoke it. If granddaughter performs, Grandma is obligated to pay her. If she doesn’t pay up, the granddaughter can sue for breach of contract. The fact that it may have been an oral contract is not the issue. In this type of scenario, oral contracts are binding. Nor is the fact that this is a minor child an issue. Minors may enter into contracts, and the right of revocation rests with the minor, not the adult.

Normally with these types of contracts, it would be Grandma’s word against the granddaughter’s. But Grandma just admitted making the offer in the newspaper, so the contract exists.

The moral of the story is, be careful what you promise the kids. It can have binding legal ramifications. It’s a good thing Grandma didn’t promise her a car. – Florida Lawyer

Dear Florida: What a world. Fortunately for Grandma, letters in our column are anonymous, and there are dozens, if not thousands, of grandparents who make such promises to their grandchildren. So it’s still Grandma’s word against the granddaughter’s that this letter came from her. Nonetheless, we don’t believe Grandma should rescind the offer. It was for grades, not behavior, and she should keep her word.

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