Jun 23, 2015 2 min read

Q. I am 50 years old. After 10 years of marriage, I feel I must tell my wife of the reason for my declining ability to perform in the bedroom.

After three months without intimacy, she requested that I see a doctor and I agreed to do so. However, what she doesn’t know is that in order to have a marriage with this wonderful woman, I have been suppressing my desire to cross-dress.

I have been searching the Internet for days to find a therapist who can help me bring this issue out in an appropriate way. Many of the websites I’ve seen don’t appear to be professional.

I don’t want to talk to my wife without a professional present because I fear disastrous results. I love her dearly. What do you suggest? – No Life Without Wife

A. We suggest you contact The Society for the Second Self at Tri-ess.org and ask whether they can refer you to a therapist. You also can look online or in your phone book for a gender therapist or ask your doctor to refer you to someone.

Please don’t keep your wife in the dark. She deserves to know the truth about what’s going on, and she can also be a source of support.

Dear Annie: I have a solution for “Trapped by Nosy Nellie,” who is worried that putting up a fence will reflect poorly on them. She should tell the nosy neighbor that she’s considering adopting a dog and one of the requirements is a fenced yard. Problem solved. – Dog Lover in Oregon

Email questions to anniesmailbox@creators.com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd Street, Hermosa Beach, CA 90254