Oct 26, 2015 3 min read

Q. I am very antisocial. I don’t go to parties as often as most teens, I hardly ever invite friends over, and the few friends I do have no longer attend the same school. I don’t belong to any clubs or do other extracurricular activities. I spend most of my days at the computer, watching TV or pacing back and forth in my backyard.

My parents have noticed my lack of social skills. My older sister is the same way. I know I can make more friends if I try, but I don’t know how.

So, Annie, how does a 14-year-old who’s never had a circle of friends, never been a partygoer and never had her first kiss learn to be normal? – Lonely for Life

A. You are not as abnormal as you think. Many teens have difficulty with their social skills, even though you may not see it. Plus, it sounds as if there is a family history of social anxiety. The fact that you want to change is a good sign, and we have every confidence you can take charge of your life.

First, make an effort to get out of the house more. Force yourself to sign up for at least one extracurricular activity at school. Make a vow to smile and say hello to as many classmates as possible. Invite a new friend to go with you to the mall or come to your house and watch a movie. Be interested in what others have to say.

All of these things require effort, and you will have to push yourself at first, but it will get easier over time.

Q. I met my girlfriend three years ago and learned that her stepfather had sexually abused her when she was young. Her mother knew, but never did anything to help her. We now live together and have a child. On several occasions, I have suggested she get counseling, but she either refuses or puts it off. The stepfather is still married to her mom. I can’t stand the fact that she doesn’t realize how this infuriates me. This man should be taken off the streets regardless of how long ago the abuse happened. How do I get her to seek counseling? – Concerned

A. We know how upset you are, but please remember that this is not about you, and the constant pressure on your girlfriend undoubtedly makes her additionally uncomfortable and stressed. We urge you to call RAINN (rainn.org) at 800-656-HOPE and ask how you can best help her.

Dear Annie: When I was 18, I found out I had genital warts, and my world came out from under me. I thought only bad girls got STDs. Mom called me names and insisted no one would ever want to touch me again. She asked the doctor if I was allowed to use the same toilet seats as the rest of the family. Mom was wrong. I have been married for four years to a wonderful man. “Sad Mom” is doing the best thing for her daughter just by being there for her and not letting her beat herself up for the mistakes she has made. Someday someone will see the beautiful person she is. – Mending Relationships

Email questions to anniesmailbox@creators.com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.