Sep 10, 2015 3 min read

Q. My husband has decided to plan a trip to a major theme park. It was supposed to include the two of us, plus his three adult children and their families.

Here’s the problem: When I could not take the time off from work, his children invited their recently widowed mother. Although we have a civil relationship with her, I do not feel this is appropriate. Unfortunately, my husband doesn’t share my concerns and is planning to book the trip anyway.

I considered giving him some sort of ultimatum, but I doubt it would change his mind. My main concerns are his ex’s ability to twist the truth and what others may think about the “arrangement.” Any advice? – Left Behind in Pennsylvania

A. Your husband should never have agreed to this without your OK. Instead, the appropriate thing to do would be to rearrange the trip for a date when you were available. Nonetheless, your only concern now should be whether he can be trusted to take a trip with his ex. If so, you can weather this.

If you can take off a couple of days and join them for part of the trip, we recommend it. But please ignore the gossip. If others question the “arrangement,” simply laugh and say, “I wasn’t worried about that for a second.”

Dear Annie: Your response to “No One To Share This With” was not strong enough. She said her husband was viewing porn. I know how she feels.

I recently discovered that my 57-year-old husband, to whom I’ve been married for 34 years, was viewing Internet porn. It took me three months to get the full truth from him, because he was so ashamed. He started by looking at pictures of women in various stages of undress and it quickly escalated.

We always had a loving relationship, but during this time I noticed he was more distant and less affectionate. When I questioned him, things would improve, but only temporarily. When I discovered his porn viewing, I was humiliated and hurt. He broke my trust. It is not OK to view porn. It is infidelity. It is addictive. It is disrespectful to your spouse. It sets up unrealistic expectations. It’s selfish. I am trim and attractive, but at age 54, I cannot compete with 20-year-olds.

My husband regrets what he has done. He is sorry about how his actions hurt me. He has taken full responsibility, saying I did absolutely nothing to cause him to turn to porn. He voluntarily surrendered his computer and smartphone so I could set restrictions keeping him from accessing those websites.

We immediately started counseling individually and as a couple, and I am working on forgiving him. Porn viewing should not be tolerated and should be addressed immediately. – Rebuilding Our Relationship in LA.

Dear L.A.: Spouses have different tolerance levels for porn. The problem these days is that porn is not only easily accessed on one’s computer or phone, but that it is also interactive. It interferes with one’s relationships in real time. We’re glad you and your husband are seriously working on this.

Email questions to anniesmailbox@creators.com, or write to: Annie’s Mailbox, c/o Creators Syndicate, 737 3rd St., Hermosa Beach, CA 90254.