Jan 17, 2016 2 min read

Q. I am a 23-year-old female who recently moved to a new town. I have met a few guys, but it never seems to go anywhere. I can’t seem to find someone who wants anything more than sex. I used to sleep around, but I’m more mature now, and I value myself enough not to throw my body at every guy I meet. I’ve learned from my mistakes.

Not a single man I’ve met in my age range is interested in a real relationship. They expect me to hop into bed with no commitment whatsoever. I value relationships, and commitment, and have no intention of behaving like this. It irritates me when I put myself out there and meet someone who I think is different, but as soon as they learn that I’m not going to give them sex, they forget all about me.

I know I’m still young and that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but I am ready to settle down. I am far from perfect, but sometimes it seems as though I will never meet anyone worthwhile.

Is something wrong with me? Or am I just attracting the wrong type of guys? – Confused in a Small Town

A. If you are in a small town, your pool of available candidates is less than it might be elsewhere. This means you need to widen your circle. Try online dating (be cautious), and ask your friends, family members and co-workers to introduce you to available, decent men. Join a church social group, choir, theater group or a volunteer organization where you will be doing some good and meeting new people.

And yes, it’s possible that you are attracting the wrong type of guy. Your closest friends should be honest enough to tell you if that’s the case and what you might do about it. But most importantly, be patient. You may be looking to settle down, but your average 23-year-old man is not. You may be coming across as desperate or overly eager. A little nonchalance might serve you better.

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