Jul 4, 2016 4 min read

Q. I am a real estate agent in a wealthy part of Southern California. In my part of town, everyone knows everyone, especially in real estate.

I have my group of mom friends. Some of us work. Others do not. All of our kids go to the same school. We see one another multiple times every week.

My best friend in the group is a designer. She’s relatively new to the real estate world, but she has a great eye for design.

Another friend in the group is a financial adviser. She is a brilliant woman, so I hired her to manage my money, and I’m actually her Realtor.

I sold the money manager a house. I referred designer to money manager. Can you guess where this is going?

Long story short, money manager and designer had a huge falling out. Money manager claims she fired designer. Designer claims she walked off the job. Needless to say, they both think they are right.

I really don’t care what happened between the two of them. I’m more concerned with my business. Was I stupid to refer designer to money manager? Should I find a different money manager so that we don’t have a falling out? I like doing business with friends because I trust them, but I don’t want to lose any friends if business relationships go south. – Referral Referee

A. Good real estate agents, designers and financial advisers are a 10-second Yelp search away. Good friends, however, are a lot harder to find.

It’s too late to repair the relationship between your two friends, but it’s not too late for you to avoid a falling-out of your own. Hire a new person to manage your money. Explain to your friend it’s precisely because you value your friendship that you want to stop doing business with her. If she’s as smart as you say she is, she’ll get it.

Q. I feel like a cliché. I feel so stupid. It wasn’t supposed to be like this.

I’m 34. I graduated from one Ivy League university and got a master’s from a different one. I don’t look like Scarlett Johansson, but I’m above average in the looks department. I get my hair highlighted. I work out. I dress well. Yet I’m single.

I told myself it wouldn’t bother me. I leaned in to my career. I went on dates, but no guy ever felt like the one. I had a few casual relationships but didn’t do the whole “he’s OK for right now” thing. If I wasn’t super into him, I let him go. And I really haven’t met a guy I’ve been super into.

I never did the online dating thing. I just wasn’t focused on it. I have a friend who is obsessed with it. She downloads every app and talks about it nonstop. She talks about dating the way men talk about fantasy football.

I was supposed to have it all – to be happily married with children. I don’t want to leave my career, but I am 34 and want a family. I don’t want to settle for some schlub, either. – Cliché Cathy

A. You’re not waiting for Mr. Right; you’re waiting for Mr. Perfect. There’s no such thing. Why haven’t you been into the guys you’ve seen in the past? What’s been missing? There’s a difference between having some basic criteria (“respectful,” “employed,” “not Norman Bates”) and having an elaborate, Westminster Dog Show-style rubric. Be more open.

And please, in no way, shape or form do you have to leave your career for a husband or family. Plenty of women with successful careers are wives and mothers, too – including me.

Send questions for Annie Lane to dearannie@creators.com.