Two families, hundreds of miles apart, connected by one tragedy
Laura Gillum received a letter from the family who received her son’s heart after Gillum’s son died last year. The family thanked Gillum and said in the letter, “I promise, with all that I have, that Dean’s heart will feel nothing but love, and will be cared for, for as long as it beats inside of our sweet boy.”
Laura Gillum reads a letter sent to her from the family who received her son’s heart. The family connected with Gillum through the Center for Organ Recovery and Education.
Laura Gillum speaks to a class during recent cardiopulmonary resuscitation instruction session in Canonsburg.
Laura Gillum and her husband, Paul, started the organization Breathing for Burrito, which offers free CPR classes on the first Saturday of every month.
Eighteen-month-old Lennon Cureton received the heart of Dean Gillum after his death in 2015.
Dean Gillum
CANONSBURG – On the night Laura and Paul Gillum disconnected their 23-month-old son from life support, Jessica Cureton, who lives more than 530 miles away in Lexington, S.C., got a cellphone call while driving to a Chick-fil-A restaurant.
On the line was a transplant coordinator from Medical University of South Carolina, who told her strangers from Pittsburgh donated the heart that would save the life of her then 6-month old son, Lennon, who suffered from a heart condition.
Jessica and her husband, Allen, didn’t know it then, but Lennon’s heart belonged to Dean Gillum, who sustained fatal injuries after falling into an above-ground swimming pool in his family’s backyard in Canonsburg July 30, 2015, and was declared brain dead Aug. 2.
The day Lennon received his heart transplant – Aug. 8 – marked the beginning of a relationship between two families who never met previously, but became connected when one’s heartbreak turned into the other’s chance for a happy ending.
“I can never repay Laura and Paul for what they did for us,” said Jessica. “I remember when we were at the hospital for the transplant that people congratulated us, and I thought, ‘Why are you congratulating us? Someone lost a child.’ I understand that our child gets to live, but it’s not fair that someone’s son was taken from them. It makes me really sad. When Lennon was on the waiting list, I told my husband that it was killing me that someone’s child has to die for ours to live.”
Dean’s organs saved other lives. His kidneys went to a 66-year-old nurse in Pittsburgh and his liver was donated to a 1-year-old Florida boy.
The Gillums never hesitated to donate Dean’s organs.
“It was never a question of whether or not we’d donate his organs,” said Laura. “We didn’t do anything special. We just did what Dean would have wanted us to do.”
Transplant centers are required by law to protect the confidentiality of donors and recipients. But, when both families agree, centers can arrange for contact between them.
So, in December, Laura wrote letters to each of the recipient’s families and mailed them to the Center for Organ Recovery and Education, which forwarded her notes.
Jessica Cureton opened the mailbox a few days later, and found an envelope that contained a letter from Laura Gillum and pictures of Dean.
“Please forgive me if I stumble a little. I’ve never had to write this sort of letter. My name is Laura. My husband Paul and I are so happy that you’re doing well! Our boy, Dean, always wanted the people around him to be happy. So, I’m positive that he’s smiling down from Heaven at you and your baby boy. We are so glad that our tragedy ended with something so positive. When, and if, you’re ever ready, we would love to meet your family. Best wishes! Laura and Paul”
Jessica cried for hours after she read the letter and looked at Dean’s photos.
“This child was so loved. It makes me feel comfort that he never felt anything but love,” said Jessica. “Knowing that Dean was loved and had so many people who cared about him, and putting a face to this child who saved my son was overwhelming. This little boy is my hero.”
Jessica considered writing to the Gillums immediately after the transplant, but she didn’t know what to say. After she received the letter, Jessica penned four letters, then ripped them up because “anything I wrote wasn’t good enough. What they’ve given me is far greater than anything I can do for them.”
Finally, she crafted a four-page letter and dropped it in the mail.
“Laura and Paul, Thank you for reaching out to our family. It means more to us than you will ever know. I’ve been trying to come up with the words to write you, but I’ve never been able to put them on paper. We are so incredibly thankful that in the darkest moments of your lives you chose life for our sweet Lennon. Dean’s heart has changed our lives forever. Lennon was born with dilated cardiomyopathy. His heart took up much of his chest, yet only functioned at around 13 percent. He was in end-stage heart failure before he ever took his first breath and I was terrified that I’d never meet my son alive. By the grace of God, we recently celebrated Lennon’s first birthday. And because of the selfless decision you two made, we are getting to enjoy milestones we never thought we would see … I promise, with all that I have, that Dean’s heart will feel nothing but love, and will be cared for, for as long as it beats inside of our sweet boy.”
Jessica also sent Laura a necklace with Dean’s birthstone and an engraving: Hero Mama. Laura hung the necklace on her dresser and looks at it every morning.
When Laura received Jessica’s letter, CORE blacked out any revealing information. But in the letter, Jessica mentioned a Facebook page she started so family and friends could follow Lennon’s progress.
Laura searched Facebook for babies named Lennon and found a page, “Baby Lennon’s Battle.”
What if, she wondered, Baby Lennon, who is now 18 months old, was the child who received Dean’s heart.
Later that day, Laura told Paul she believed she knew who Dean’s heart recipient was.
It was Paul who sent Jessica a lengthy Facebook message in March, which she noticed while sitting in the corner of her hair salon waiting on a client.
She immediately responded to Paul’s message.
“I was a mess. I cried the rest of the afternoon,” recalled Jessica.
Throughout the afternoon, Paul sent her videos of Dean eating food, playing with toys, reciting colors and shapes.
“It gave me a glimpse into their lives with him,” said Jessica, “and I saw that he was incredibly smart and driven and cute and funny.”
Jessica’s mother, who wanted to know about Lennon’s donor family from the moment she found out her grandson was getting a heart, sent a friend request to Laura and Paul, which both accepted, and the families communicate regularly.
“My mom is very glad we have contact, She said from the start that she hoped the family of the child who saved Lennon wanted to be a part of our life,” said Jessica. “I feel like they’re a part of us now. Dean’s heart beats inside our child. There is a bond between us.”
The families plan to meet in person, but they haven’t set a date.
The other transplant recipients have not contacted the Gillums, but their relationship with the Curetons helped them deal with their grief.
“We were really excited to find out that Lennon is healthy and happy. I prayed that whoever got his organs would be able to live a happy, healthy and full life. I don’t want them to think they owe us, that’s not why we donated Dean’s organs,” said Laura.
“Dean is still living through Lennon. Somebody else who didn’t even know Dean is always going to remember him. When Lennon grows up, he’s going to tell his kids, ‘Hey, there’s a little boy named Dean who saved my life.’ His kids will know who Dean is, and their kids are going to know who Dean is, and he’ll live on for generations. That’s all we really wanted, is to know that Dean was here and he was a big, big spirit, and his big spirit is still running around and he’s helping other people.”
For more information on organ donation, visit www.core.org.
Following Dean’s death, Laura and Paul Gillum founded Breathing for Burrito, a nonprofit organization that provides free cardiopulmonary resuscitation classes. The classes are held on the first Saturday of every month at Armory Youth Center in Canonsburg, and the next Thursday at the Canonsburg EMS facility. To register, or for additional information or to make a donation, contact breathing-for-burrito.org.