Jun 18, 2016 4 min read

We fathers will open an assortment of cards today extolling our virtues and expressing gratitude for what we mean to our spouses and children.

And perhaps on this special day, fathers will consider giving something to their families in return: their signatures.

While it may not be indicative of a father’s unmatched intelligence, hidden powers or any other praise delivered in cards, it may be that families will see some hint of heroism in fathers taking a stand to say “no more” to domestic and dating violence and sexual assault.

How can a signature do that?

John Wooden, a former UCLA basketball coach, once said, “Do not let what you cannot do interfere with what you can do.” This merits consideration in regard to the staggering statistics associated with dating and domestic violence and sexual assault, and what our frame of mind should be in response. According to the National Coalition Against Domestic Violence, a woman is assaulted or beaten in the United States every nine seconds. Moreover, the cost of domestic violence exceeds $8.3 billion annually, nearly 1.5 million high school students in the United States are physically abused by dating partners every year, and 57 percent of teens know someone who has been physically, sexually, or verbally abused in a dating relationship.

Meanwhile, we see stories in the newspaper about allegations of sexual assault at Baylor University in Texas and claims that actor Johnny Depp abused his wife. As the storm clouds of dating and domestic violence and sexual assault continue to swirl, what can be done in the face of this storm? Many of us have experienced the effects of dating and domestic violence. Whether touched personally or not, we have joined the cause and believe that raising awareness must precede enacting change.

Signing a pledge is one way to raise awareness. For the past five years at Washington High School, for example, a few of its fall sports teams have set aside one game to hold a Domestic Violence Awareness Night. Coaches and male athletes sign and keep a copy of a pledge in which they promise to treat women and girls with respect and denounce violence against them. An oversized version of the pledge placed on foam board and signed by coaches and male athletes, is presented to representatives of the Domestic Violence Services of Southwestern Pennsylvania prior to a Friday home football game.

And this past fall, the Coaching Boys Into Men Fan Pledge was added to the Friday evening agenda, as cheerleaders from both teams passed out copies of the pledge to adult males in attendance, who were asked to sign the pledge denouncing violence against women and girls and promising instead to be role models supporting healthy relationships. They were then encouraged to deliver the pledge to their wives, girlfriends, mothers, or daughters.

On Sunday, the Washington Wild Things will host a Father’s Day pledge event for their game against the Windy City Thunderbolts. Public-service announcements by Wild Things players about gender violence awareness will be part of this event, and area civic and business leaders will be among those publicly signing the pledge before the game. Pledges will be available for fans to sign as well.

Ignoring dating and domestic violence and sexual assault has, to borrow a line from Rod Serling, “a fallout all its own for the children and the children yet unborn.” What is needed today and in the tomorrows ahead are for more men to join those who have partnered together to increase awareness of dating and domestic violence and sexual assault in an attempt to enact change. The group Southwest PA Says No More is hoping to get 1,000 online signatures for the Father’s Day pledge at southwestpasaysnomore.org/fathers-day-pledge.

Happy Father’s Day to all dads with unmatched intelligence, hidden powers, and uncanny problem-solving abilities, who, with just a click and stroke, will be making a small but heroic statement to your families, and modeling behavior that should be the standard for all men.

Joe Nicolella is the former athletic director at Washington High School. A resident of Washington, he was awarded the Western Pennsylvania Excellence in Male Leadership award from the Pennsylvania Coalition Against Domestic Violence last month.