Sep 3, 2016 1 min read

It was recently in the news that the secret recipe for Kentucky Fried Chicken may have been inadvertently revealed. While that would undoubtedly ruffle the feathers of Colonel Sanders, I’d be more interested in the secret ingredients of a certain GOP presidential candidate’s make-up.

I’ve compiled the following list of possibilities :

• One bag of Cheeto’s

• One can tomato paste

• Two cans orange concentrate

• One bag candy Circus Peanuts

• Three carrots, peeled

• One Syracuse Orange home football jersey

• One bag circus clown makeup

Dump ingredients into cauldron of hate, fear and bigotry. Stir well until it all comes to a boil. Apply liberally to face and rub into hair. Stand in front of industrial-size fan for 30 minutes. Do not comb hair afterward. Make incendiary, fact-free speech in front of crazed crowd.

It’s finger lickin’ good, even for those with small hands.

Vin Morabito

Scranton