Mar 25, 2017 1 min read

Because they are coming faster than the media can report and the White House can distort, I’ve compiled the following alternative-reality scenario for the current Alice-in-Wonderland administration:

President Trump fires off his latest middle-of the night tweet, this one claiming that invaders from the planet Venus are stealing strawberries from the White House kitchen.

White House press secretary Sean Spicer takes to the podium and stammers and spins a response, including that Trump meant “strawberries” with quotation marks, and it could have actually been pilfered pineapples.

Plus, the aliens could have actually just come to Earth to beam a wall 500 miles high onto the Mexican border, which, says Spicer, is a good thing. It proves that even alien civilizations are willing to work with the administration.

Trump then holds a rally attended by 58 enthusiastic supporters behind a fast-food dumpster in West Virginia and proclaims diplomatic success that crooked Hillary could never have accomplished.

Vin Morabito

Scranton