Dec 7, 2022 4 min read

The exchange went something like, “I’m going to go smoke out in my car, and then my shift ends.”

The young clerk standing in front of me said, “You might as well. You aren’t going to get anything done here anyway.” Then she turned to me and said, “That’s my boss. Sometimes you just have to be a little sassy, right?” To which I smiled and agreed.

Then she said, “I smoke in my car on breaks, too,” adding, “I just wish I could stop smoking.”

To which I replied, “Well, smoking got my dad, but I know it’s hard because they make cigarettes more addictive than cocaine or heroin.”

She then said, “We’re all gonna die.” My reply was a smile as she went on to say, “My dad died of pancreatic cancer, and they think I might have the gene which means I’ll probably catch it.” She then elaborated, “All of my family members have Type 1 Diabetes, and when my aunt and mother went on Weight Watchers, they never lost a pound, and their diabetes didn’t go away. So, some of us are just doomed.” Then she said, “My grandmother came here from Europe, so who knows what about our family?”

I jokingly replied, “Well, some of us weren’t supposed to be here long. We were just supposed to raise heck while we’re here.”

Her final words to me as I left the store were, “The way things are going in this world, I don’t want to be here long.”

As I exited the store, her words haunted me, and I struggled with what I had heard. My instinct was to go back and try to give her a pep talk. Between my own deep motivation to help people as both a former teacher, as someone who knows a little bit about health and wellness, and as someone who, purely based on genetics, should personally have probably been on a fast train to la la land at least 15 years ago myself, I knew things that might have helped her.

I know that the Amish have the obesity gene, but because they walk 10,000 to 20,000 steps a day, you don’t see very many overweight Amish. I know that Type 2 Diabetes can be controlled and, in some cases, reversed by diet and exercise. It’s no secret that generationally passed-on pancreatic cancer genes only impact 10% or fewer siblings and generations can be passed over.

But most importantly, I know that the vast gap between the haves and the have-nots in this country is deepening and has become a mountain that often can seem impossible to climb. Also, that wealth gap is getting even harder to navigate as the rich hold onto their tax breaks and fight against increases in minimum wage, price gouge in the name of inflation, and work very diligently at keeping power away from the workers who are suffering the most by working two or three jobs just to pay rent and provide basic needs for their families.

I’m pretty sure she was earning minimum wage, or roughly the same amount in an hour that her pack of cigarettes costs. Looking at her physique, I’ll also guess that no one who could have been an inspiration to her had taken the time to really help her understand the realities of our junk food American diet, and with little or no hope regarding breaking out of the situation she was currently in, it was clear that the people who could really help her were probably not lining up to do so.

No one ever said that life is fair, but there are a lot of things that can be shared with those who feel hopeless – especially this time of the year. Embracing and rationalizing a negative attitude also produces one of our most lethal new ailments, loneliness.

Let’s help each other this holiday season. Let’s reach out and try to give each other hope.