Jan 5, 2024 2 min read

Forgiveness starts with yourself.

If you can’t forgive yourself, you can’t really forgive others because you’re absolutely right, and, if they have a different view, they’re absolutely wrong.

You are trapped in a position that cannot change, though at some level, reality might threaten and weaken your assurance. In response, you keep patching it up, finding people who agree, convincing yourself, blocking contradictory information. We all do this. It’s embarrassing to be wrong. But, it is survivable. That’s how we grow. That’s how we can find something better. The idea that any present attempt to understand anything is 100% correct is ridiculous.

We say we’re happy to discuss our views because we’re sure we’re right. That sets up an argument before a word is spoken. What if this year was a year of forgiveness? We each forgive ourselves for being wrong, and we forgive others for being wrong, just because the tension in our hearts makes it clear that something is wrong.

A basic assumption of democracy is that the more people operating in good faith to make a decision for the group, the better that decision will be. And, if a better idea comes along, that decision can change. Democracy is set up to continuously self-correct.

We all think we’re right. If we thought we were wrong, hopefully we’d change. But, if we each really accept the possibility that we’re wrong, it could open up a path to being one country, again. We could all heal.

Gerard Weiss

Pittsburgh