Oct 27, 2012 5 min read

Bartender, see that rather large gentleman in the corner wearing the goofy hat? Smash a bottle of sarsaparilla over his head, would you? So if you read the Observer-Reporter, you’ve probably noticed that Saturated Fats, the venerated prognosticator, has been running circles around me this fall – although not literally; that could be catastrophic. This, however, is about to change. Monday night the WPIAL football committee will release its playoff brackets at the Green Tree DoubleTree, the same hotel where I nearly married Mrs. Varsity Letters. Keeping with the wedding theme, here’s a vow to remember: This is where I catch Fats. No, we won’t be competing on Monday night – that’s the night he closes the all-you-can-eat buffet – but my prognosticazation (a tick better than prognosticating) of these playoff brackets will leave Fats shaking in his Velcro shoes.

Slam dunk for the No. 1 seed: North Allegheny (9-0). Wins over Mt Lebanon, Seneca Valley, Central Catholic and Gateway leave little doubt. I like Gateway (8-1) at No. 2 and Upper St. Clair (8-1) – fresh off a 21-19 win over the Blue Devils (7-2) in Week 9 – at No. 3. Lebo has little to be ashamed of and stays close at No. 4. Put Seneca Valley (8-1) at No. 5 and Penn-Trafford (7-2) at No. 6, the Warriors’ Week 1 loss at North Hills well behind them. Woodland Hills (7-2) and McKeesport (5-4) earned the right to host first-round games and fill out the top eight. I consider Central Catholic very much even with Woodland Hills – both lost to the two teams above them – Upper St. Clair and Mt. Lebanon/North Allegheny and Seneca Valley – with Woodland Hills’ losses by a combined 22 points, Central Catholic’s 48. Take Central as a strong No. 9. Bethel Park (6-3) gets the No. 10 seed and could make a case for getting short shrift based on a 24-17 win over the Panthers in Week 7, but the Black Hawks had only three first downs in that game, a fluke if ever I’ve seen one. I like North Hills (6-3), Hempfield (4-5) and Peters Township to grab seed Nos. 11-13. Butler (4-5), Kiski Area (4-5) and Altoona (4-5) round out my bracket.

Central Valley’s 36-35 loss at Beaver Falls shouldn’t change much – the Warriors are still the Parkway winner via tiebreaker – but it did cement Thomas Jefferson (9-0) as the No. 1 seed. I’m not crazy about having a two-loss team at No. 2, but I don’t see another way around it; Central Valley (7-2) is the pick. I like Mars (8-1) at No. 3, though I don’t think they’ve had as tough of a road to this point as the Warriors. I have West Allegheny at No. 4. And, because of the Indians’ tougher schedule, I’d drop West Mifflin (8-1) to No. 5. The Titans can team with No. 6 Montour in playing the disrespect card, as seemingly every coach does. Hampton (7-2) and Franklin Regional (7-2) complete the top eight. I like 2011 Class AAA runner-up Knoch at No. 9. Trinity (5-4) greatly improved its seeding with Saturday’s win over Ringgold and will get the No. 10. Elizabeth Forward (5-4), the only remaining team with a winning record, gets the No. 11 seed. Ringgold, Hopewell, Hollidaysburg, Blackhawk and Belle Vernon finish the bracket in seed Nos. 12-16.

To me, this is the most top-heavy classification. Aliquippa (9-0) gets the No. 1 seed, but South Fayette (9-0) isn’t far behind at No. 2. By virtue of playing one close game to South Fayette’s none, Washington (9-0) goes to No. 3, and I have Jeannette (8-1), the team the Prexies needed a late punt block to beat, at No. 4. Beaver (8-1), which has only lost to Aliquippa, fits at No. 5, and I like Seton-La Salle (8-1) at No. 6. I’m putting Freeport, the No. 1 seed out of the Allegheny, at No. 7 – due in large part to its 54-point loss to Wash High in Week 8. And I’ll slot Burrell, which lost to Freeport yet still finished second, at No. 8. Beaver Falls (7-2) may have turned some heads by knocking off Central Valley and will be a strong No. 9. Take South Allegheny (7-2), Mt. Pleasant (7-2) and Shady Side Academy (6-2) to fill out slots 10-13. Greensburg Central Catholic (6-3), Valley (6-3), Steel Valley (4-5) and Freedom (4-5) take up the last four spots.

That Clairton team is usually pretty good. The Bears (9-0) are a no-doubter at No. 1, but beyond that it gets a little complicated. Neshannock, Rochester and Sto-Rox are tied atop the Big Seven, with Sto-Rox getting the nod based on tiebreakers; No. 2 for the Vikings. I’ll put Eastern champion North Catholic (7-2) at No. 3 before going back to Rochester (8-1) at No. 4. Monessen (8-1) fits well as a No. 5 seed, and I have Beth-Center (7-1) as a No. 6. Too low, you argue? What other conference champion lost to a fourth-place team in its own conference? Round out the top eight with Springdale (6-3) and Jefferson-Morgan (7-2). Neshannock (8-1) is a dangerous No. 9 seed, and I’d slot Brentwood (6-3) at No. 10. I’ll take Apollo-Ridge, Bishop Canevin and Union at spots 11-13, followed by Avonworth, Carmichaels and Frazier. Jason Mackey can be reached at jmackey@observer-reporter.com.