Sep 11, 2013 4 min read

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When Ernie Theakston is working at her job as a business office specialist at Amedisys, she is able to focus and concentrate while she is there because she knows that her 88-year-old mother is receiving quality, kind care from caregivers. Once she leaves her desk, though, her job is not over. When she arrives at her Charleroi home after work, her job as her mother’s full-time caregiver begins.

Theakston, 62, has been caring for her mother, Lydia Palanzo, for two years now, and unless Theakston is to become physically unable, she plans on caring for her mother at home until the end of her mother’s life.

“I am an only child. I am all she has and I would never want to put her in a home,” said Theakston. “For a while I was caring for both my husband, who battled cancer for years, and my mother at the same time. That was very difficult … and so stressful. Some days, I didn’t think I could go on for one more day, one more hour. I was just so physically and emotionally exhausted. After my husband passed away, I moved my mother in with me and began the process of getting help so that I could go to work and have a break at least during the day.”

Theakston’s mother has been declining over the past few months. She now sleeps a lot and needs 24-hour care. She suffers from arthritis, osteoporosis and congestive heart failure. She also has a paralyzed vocal cord and is weak on one side, diminishing her mobility.

“Going to work is a little break from the constant care for my mother because they feed her, bathe her and dress her, which is a huge undertaking. It is still tiring once I come home, though, because while I get to enjoy time with her, I am also up nearly every hour, and I am usually tired all the time. But if I didn’t have the caregivers who are so good to her all day, I would be at the brink of stress. They are my salvation.”

Theakston learned the hard way that the key to keeping her stress level at bay and maintaining her own good health is to ask for help. That’s when she contacted Home Instead Senior Care for answers and assistance.

“A caregiver has to be willing and able to admit that once in a while, it is all just too much to handle. Asking for a break is a necessity,” said Theakston.

According to Lucy Novelly, nearly one-third of adults living in Southwest Allegheny and Washington counties are family caregivers – they could be at risk for heart disease, diabetes, depression and other physical and emotional maladies as a result of caregiver stress. Novelly know this first-hand – she started her Home Instead Senior Care franchise in 1999 while she was simultaneously caring for her mother with Alzheimer’s disease and her own children,.

“Those caregivers are at a stage in their lives when their own health is sometimes beginning to decline,” said Novelly. “It is important that they seek out help … I started my franchise because at the time I cared for my mother, the home care industry didn’t exists and it inspired me to start my own business because I knew there were others out there like me who needed the help. Caregivers need a respite. They need others to provide them with peace of mind. Even if they don’t have help to come in for their loved one every day, even a few days a week can alleviate stress and give the caregivers the help that they need.”

“It is important that these baby boomers realize the important of maintaining their own health as well,” added Novelly. “If they don’t stay healthy, it becomes even more difficult to handle the demands of caring for an aging loved one.”

Here are some tips Novelly and her staff suggest to caregivers:

• Get an evaluation with a caregiver company to learn what help is available. Better yet, plan ahead with your aging loved one before they need your help with their care. • Put a power of attorney in place and ask your loved ones their personal and medical wishes. Begin putting all the necessary tools in place before it becomes a necessity.

• Take care of yourself first.

• Ask for help.

• Talk about your feelings – it is OK to feel overwhelmed and angry sometimes. Don’t let those feelings make you feel guilty.

• Seek out support from other family members and friends.

• Give yourself breaks.

• Get plenty of rest.

For more information, visit www.FamilyCaregiverStressRelief.com.