Oct 26, 2014 3 min read

As parents grow older, it becomes more and more important to have conversations about aging.

But dealing with sensitive life topics can be difficult.

Home Instead Senior Care, an international company that provides home care for seniors, offers an educational program called the 40/70 Rule, which tackles issues including driving, finances, independence and even romance.

The 40/70 Rule is based on a simple concept: Experts say the time to start talking with parents about aging-related issues is when children are getting close to 40 and their parents are getting close to 70. That will provide enough time, usually, to discuss tough issues calmly and thoughtfully, well in advance of any health crisis or other emergency.

“I see too many people in panic mode because they haven’t had these discussions,” said Cathy Glumac, client services supervisor at Home Instead Senior Care in Bethel Park and Washington. “There’s wisdom in planning ahead and being in control of these decisions. I think it’s good to have these conversations, and Mom and Dad realize this is being done with their best interests at heart. It does become more critical for dementia patients because as time marches on, the struggle with financial and other issues gets worse.”

Glumac has had those discussions with her own mother, who was diagnosed with vascular dementia.

The campaign is based on research conducted in the United States and Canada by Home Instead Senior Care, which showed that nearly one-third of adults in the United States have a major communication obstacle with their parents that stems from the continuation of the parent-child role, instead of a peer-to-peer one.

The 40/70 Rule program is based on real-life situations and contains scenarios and possible responses for awkward issues – if Dad hits a light pole while driving or Mom puts on a dirty and stained dress for an outing, for example. The guide was compiled with the assistance of Dr. Jake Harwood of the University of Arizona.

The Home Instead Senior Care survey found that Baby Boomers have the most difficulty talking with their parents about independence issues, such as continuing to live in their own home.

“We have a population of people who have lived their lives and have overcome many challenges, and it’s a fine balance to be respectful and honor the lives they’ve lived and still try to help them be safe,” said Glumac.

Good communication, she said, is critical to helping families know when it is time to seek additional resources and help.

For additional information on the 40/70 rule, visit www.homeinstead.com/swpittsburgh.