Aug 2, 2017 5 min read

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With the start of a new school year comes the beginning of increased extracurricular activities for kids. And though there may not be a direct correlation between the two, it does require some schedule readjustment.

“The start of the school year also means the start of fall sports and activities,” says Julie Bowden, Psy.D., clinical psychologist at Relationship Resolutions in Canonsburg. “So, not only is one’s child getting readjusted to the school year and the school schedule after a long, perhaps lazy, summer, but they also have to get used to getting back into their after school activities. For so many kids, this can mean having to readjust from having a great deal of free time and extra time to sleep in and relax to have very little to no time. This can definitely be overwhelming.”

Although there is no set of guidelines in place for monitoring how much activity is too much during the school year, Dr. Bowden offers suggestions that may help parents keep track of just how much their child is doing and if that child may be on the brink of overwhelm. She says that a child may be doing too much if they:

• Always seem tired of have a really hard time waking up in the morning

• Are not able to get to bed on time due to involvement in activities, combined with homework, etc.

• Rarely sit down and just play or relax or have downtime

• Don’t seem to be happy or enjoying their activities anymore

• Show a drop in their grades and/or are not doing or turning in their homework

• Don’t connect with friends anymore through playdates, sleepovers, phone/text messages, mostly because they are just “too busy”

• Never are home to have family dinner or family meals are always “on the go”

“In addition, parents should pay attention to what is going on with themselves,” Dr. Bowden advises. “Specifically, if a parent feels like they spend more time in their car driving between activities and never has any downtime for themselves, or if the parent is exhausted and burned out, these might be warning signs, as well, that the child is doing too much.”

The child also might seem tired all of the time, or may express signs of stress or burnout, such as stomachaches, headaches, constant worry or have difficulty falling asleep.

If a parent detects some of all of these symptoms, there are several ways they can help take the load off of the child.

“School and sleep should always come first,” Dr. Bowden notes. “A great deal of research is out there on the importance of quality and consistent sleep for children. I stress the importance of these two things to both parents and kids. So, first and foremost, I advise parents to ensure that regardless of activities, the child be home in time for their bedtime routine and a consistent routine leading up to bedtime. They can work backward from there. School work needs to be done consistently, so homework is another priority. Figure out what time the child needs to go to sleep, factor in how long homework and mealtime take, as well as getting ready for bed and do a ‘math problem’ to determine how much extra time after school the child has for activities.”

To help alleviate burnout altogether, Bowden advises parents to set limits by recognizing when the child is doing too much using the signs mentioned above. Parents should encourage a good routine and schedule so that everyone knows what to expect each day, taking into consideration time for sleep, family and free time, as well as time devoted to school, are included.

“Explain to your child that it is great that they want to be so involved, but that priorities exist to prevent them from becoming overloaded,” Dr. Bowden recommends. “Teach them how to understand and make priorities. It also is so important to know that children learn by watching their parents. Model for your children how to have balance in your own life. Show them that you devote time to doing fun activities, but that you also devote time to family, sleep and self-care.”

Bowden says that overall, the key is balance. “As a parent, you want to be a role model and encourage your child, and to have a good sense of balance. As my dad used to say, ‘Work hard, play hard.’ Speak to your child about the importance of fun, work and self-care. In our American culture, we tend to feel like we need to be in an on-the-go state of mind. This is not necessarily a good thing and has contributed greatly to the increase in anxiety and depression in our society. We can help our children and the generations to come by teaching them to have balance and not to feel pressured to go all of the time.”